If you are tired of how you are living your life, change it.
Postscript:
I am acutely aware of the privilege I have as a European white woman in her thirties who was brought up by loving parents in a secure household, has had an amazing education, has had access to and was encouraged to engage in tools like yoga, sound healing, alternative therapies, is single, without debt, and am free to explore my creativity and engage with my life in the way I do.
I am also fully aware of the current societal construct which stacks the cards against me, being a woman in this world.
I have noticed a lot of talk about feminist issues in my every day life, online and through media outlets over the last few weeks. For those of us who see the world in an energetic way, the subject of Divine Feminine and Masculine archetypes is definitely playing out throughout March. The energy of change is pushing at us all in every area of our lives.
With this push comes strong feelings and emotions. We are often taught that we should not engage with emotions, to do so is not the ‘higher’ way to go about living. I think emotions are a powerful tool that we need to engage with and utilise. We absolutely need to let go of and detach from them too, but detachment is not the same as suppression or ignoring.
I see a lot of people doing meditation or ‘spiritual’ practices and trying to grow by connecting to the ‘higher realms’ without acknowledging their human selves. In my experience, this approach is doomed to fail. You may make ‘higher’ connections but unless you ground those energies, you are just finding a new way for your ego to control you- you are just finding a way to make suppression feel and sound better to yourself.
“Self-acceptance comes from meeting life’s challenges vigorously. Don’t numb yourself to your trials and difficulties, nor build mental walls to exclude pain from your life. You will find peace not by trying to escape your problems, but by confronting them courageously. You will find peace not in denial, but in victory.”
Swami Sivananda
Going into emotion can be very uncomfortable. Feeling certain emotions can be a challenge- there is so much judgment around emotion. Some are deemed ok for a woman to feel but not for a man and vice versa. Often it is deemed ok for a woman to cry and be upset but a man can be seen as weak to do so. Where anger can be seen as a perfectly valid way for a man to express, a woman is seen as crazy.
In truth, anger is an emotion a lot of people find difficult to deal with. Anger is not a negative energy. Anger is a fuel. Far from being something we should suppress or run away from, we need to acknowledge and embrace our anger, utilising it as the incredible fuel it is. It indicates to us that something is not in alignment with our truth. Sometimes, it is the best energy to use in a situation. Anger was coursing through every part of me as I began to write this post.
If you are someone who reads my blog often, you will know it is different from my usual posts. I hope this postscript note gives it context. I also want to be clear about my use of a few words as they are particularly triggering for people- please read the bottom of the post for an explanation of the terms *patriarchy, **societal construct and ***‘perfect body’ as used in this piece.
I believe we all have the right to engage fully in our life, without going up against prejudice, no matter our gender, race, sexual preference or any other reason. We are all humans, we should all get to live our lives as we want, without judgment.
There are many conversations that need to be had about the current plight of the human race. This post is my starting a conversation from my perspective, as that is all any of us have. It is not my intention to upset anyone although that seems an impossibility when we talk about things that challenge the belief systems that people’s lives are built on….
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“It must be remembered that there is nothing more difficult to plan, more doubtful of success, nor more dangerous to manage than a new system. For the initiator has the enmity of all who would profit by the preservation of the old institution and merely lukewarm defenders in those who gain by the new ones. ”
Niccolo Machiavelli
I look around me and see absolute madness in the ‘sanity’ that is revered in our times.
If you think you live in a free country, think again. There is no such thing as a free and democratic country. So many parts of your life and mind are controlled. And disturbingly, a lot of people seem to believe they want it that way.
It can be easy to decide that we have less power than we actually do. The small number of people running the world certainly want you to believe that you are powerless. They want you obsessed with how you look so you can ply all your energy into that. They want you obsessed with getting one up on those around you, as that distracts you from what they are doing. That helps them maintain the control and power they have over our daily lives within the common societal construct.
But don’t buy into that. You do have power. Each one of us has HUGE power. If everyone wakes up to that truth, this whole system could be pulled down in an instant.
“One of the great liabilities of history is that all too many people fail to remain awake through great periods of social change. Every society has its protectors of status quo and its fraternities of the indifferent who are notorious for sleeping through revolutions. Today, our very survival depends on our ability to stay awake, to adjust to new ideas, to remain vigilant and to face the challenge of change.”
Martin Luther King Jr.
We are fed beliefs from a patriarchal system that we are and should be a culture obsessed with accumulating money and material objects, and that we should work as much as possible so we can gain those things. It tells us we should be fearful of anyone not like us- be fearful of attacks while cheering on wars as they are benefitting the ‘good’ guys. That the quest for the ‘perfect’ body is paramount and we should put the body as the most important aspect of ourselves. It teaches us to care about how others see us and to allow everyone around us to judge how we should be living our lives. It tells us we should gossip about, exalt and then tear down those around us. It teaches us to ‘be the best’ and therefore creates the idea of the worst. To ‘be good’ and to not ‘be bad’. To see a hierarchy of good and bad, rich and poor, people of worth and people who are worthless. And many other ridiculous, disconnecting, disempowering beliefs.
Every part of my being has screamed and cried and raged within me when I have tried to ‘fit in’ with this ridiculous culture. Enough is enough. NOBODY WANTS TO LIVE IN THIS CAGE.
We ALL know that the current zeitgeist is absolute madness. We ALL know that this constant crushing of female empowerment, this crushing of male sensitivity, this worshipping of money and objects, this idolising then joyously tearing-down of celebrities, this body-critiquing, appearance obsessed, lacking in substance and true connection culture, that we have been brainwashed to believe is what everyone wants, is ABSURD. NOBODY REALLY WANTS TO LIVE LIKE THAT.
A culture obsessed with money, looks, torture, gossip, wars, objects, porn, domination, judgement and hierarchy… It all adds up to shame, loss and disconnection. I don’t believe for a second that anyone actually wants to live that way. That any of you believe these are the tenets to a content and fulfilling life.
I know there are many people who can’t even see the cycle of abuse that we have been born into. And I understand why people vehemently deny and fight the idea that this collective conscious belief system is ingrained in the psyche.
When you begin scratching away at the layers of your beliefs and see how much absolute nonsense- collective conscious brainwashing- is there, it can be so overwhelming that it can seem like the only option is to put a lid on it and go into denial. To declare these thoughts and beliefs ARE yours. To close your eyes to how deep the control goes.
I send so much love and compassion to anyone in that place. To live with that part of you that knows there is more and to deny it is incredibly difficult. I know: I tried to live that life until I was 29 and it was self-torture that led to depression and years on anti-depressants and panic medication just to get through a day.
I am here today because of will power. That’s it. If I didn’t have as strong a mind and as strong will-power as I do, I would have gone years ago. My strong mind and will-power had me stay because underneath it all, I could feel that there was just NO way that everyone thought this crushing oppression was living. I knew I couldn’t be the only one to know THIS REALITY FED TO US IS INSANE.
“Once you learn to discern the voice of Mother Culture humming in the background, telling her story over and over again to the people of your culture, you’ll never stop being conscious of it. Wherever you go for the rest of your life, you’ll be tempted to say to the people around you, “how can you listen to this stuff and not recognize it for what it is?”
Daniel Quinn, Ishmael
We have each been given an amazing tool called the mind (like the body, it is just a tool, it is not who you are). We have the ability to question stories that are fed to us in mainstream media. We have the ability to question the ‘facts’ fed to us from governments. We have the ability to question facts and statistics fed to us from the huge companies where most ‘scientific’ research is developed. We have the ability to question beliefs that were fed to us by the numerous organisations that are in the business of making profit- NOT of making you healthy/happy/be free of dieting/be free of debt/have a life of stability and contentment.
We have the ability to see that the world as a whole is run, not in the best interests of everybody but only in the best interests of a tiny percentage.
We have the ability, we have the choice- we have a duty as individuals to make the most of this precious life. We are all here to experience the beauty of this world and what it is to be a human.
WAKE UP. It is time for all of us to WAKE UP.
“I am not what happened to me. I am what I choose to become”
Carl Jung
Since a really young age, I have felt odd and different and kind of a freak because I just couldn’t understand how fellow humans seemed to want to live. As I have gotten older, I have realised I am no different from everyone else. Most people disagree completely with this crazy construct. The story the ‘powers that be’ tell us goes so deep in our cultural psyche, that as a collective, we live as though it is real. People have forgotten that it was all invented in order for the patriarchy to rule and dominate.
People revelling in hurting one another in words and in deeds. People craving dominion over others. People judged and oppressed because of the colour of their skin. So much destruction of our amazing planet that, contrary to popular belief, we do NOT own. Poverty existing. Ill health being accepted as part of life. People with mental health issues and people with addiction issues being treated with disdain. People being judged, hurt and vilified because of the gender of the person they fall in love with. Women seen as less feminine and unworthy if they don’t fit in the image of whatever some random bunch of humans at the top of the media totem decide is ‘hot’ that year. Men seen as less manly and unworthy if they emote, cry and engage with their full emotional world. Humans writing other humans off as worthless…
Living in and buying into THIS system is the idea of living a ‘good’ and sane life?!
It makes NO sense to me. If it makes sense to you, then I wish you so much love and a life of contentment- sincerely. I want to be clear, I am not judging anyone or their choices. I am absolutely raging against the construct though- the system- and the idea that it is the only way to live. I am absolutely raging against the fact that there are so many people living this life wanting but not knowing there is another way. I am absolutely raging against the power structure that has brainwashed so many people so well that some do not know that their beliefs and values are not their own.
I deeply care about humanity so I do want people to truly look at where their ‘beliefs’ and ‘moral compass’ has come from. I feel that seeing the truth behind this system can bring about hugely positive life-transformations if you are willing to confront these passive, self-limiting beliefs, and then action the changes needed to embrace a new way of living, free from the systemic oppression.
We all have masculine and feminine in us- whether we identify as female, male, transgender or otherwise. It seems wise to live in a way that honours all parts of ourselves- we are not just a gender, a body, a skin-colour, a sexual preference, a net worth, an illness, an addiction…. We are all humans. Mind, body, emotional world, spirit, soul- and so much more that we don’t have words for.
If you want more for your life than what the collective consciousness currently offers, find a tool that resonates with you and work with it to pull away the veils one at a time. Form a clear picture in your mind of what you want to experience, then action the changes you need to make in order for it to happen.
Question ‘facts’ given to you by people who have a vested interest in keeping you submissive. Question ‘facts’ that keep you feeling inferior. Question anyone coming from a place of judgment. Question those who do not speak with love and compassion. Question people who tell you they know how you should be living your life. There are SO many people ready to judge and decide how you should be living your life. DON’T LISTEN! You are the ONLY one who knows what you need and what you need to hold to or change.
“Many people, especially ignorant people, want to punish you for speaking the truth, for being correct, for being you. Never apologize for being correct, or for being years ahead of your time. If you’re right and you know it, speak your mind. Speak your mind. Even if you are a minority of one, the truth is still the truth.”
Mahatma Gandhi
ONLY YOU KNOW THE BEST LIFE FOR YOU!
I am now at the point where I know that I- and only I- know what I need, and every judgment I feel from others is only to do with them and nothing to do with me. These are a few practical things I implemented in my life that maybe some of you will find useful-
Engage with a community of people who have similar goals and ideals as you and only pour energy into the relationships that support you. But talk to people who see the world completely differently and challenge your perceptions. Remain open to lots of ideas and thoughts but hold your own as the most important for you (like that, you do not know what’s best for anyone else!). Always be completely honest with yourself- no matter if you are ready to follow your truth at that point, acknowledge it- and never stay stuck in one way of thinking. Always be ready to change direction when you realise you have taken a detour from your true path. Believe in your Self. Believe you are worthy of living the life you dream of.
We can each create our own individual reality within this big web of consciousness. We can all choose to create what we want our human experience to be like. We each have that right.
“What we can and should change is ourselves: our impatience, our egoism (including intellectual egoism), our sense of injury, our lack of love and forbearance. I regard every other attempt to change the world, even if it springs from the best intentions, as futile.”
Hermann Hesse
Fully embrace the incredible privilege it is to get to live a human life. If you are dissatisfied, find the tools that work for you and change your life.
“It is not because things are difficult that we do not dare, it is because we do not dare that things are difficult”
Seneca
The answer is not always easy, but it is simple.
Thank you for reading this very long, and very different to my usual, post! Wishing you love, blessings and contentment through these huge changes our planet and the human race is facing, however you choose to live your life.
With love and light,
Laura.x
*I want to make it clear what I mean by patriarchal system as I have seen a lot of people talking about it recently and either intending it to mean or taking it to mean all men. I do not mean ‘man’ or all men when I use that term.
I am talking about a system that was set up in order to suppress women. A system that has taught both men and women that women are not as smart as, not as funny as, not as worthy as a man. A system that still allows more men to be in positions of power throughout most industries, where men are paid more for the same job almost across the board, a system that replies to statements of facts such as these with vitriol and misogyny- or perhaps even worse, apathy.
I am talking about a system that most people I know do not want to be a part of.
The patriarchal system is just as damaging to men as it has been to women. As women have been blatantly oppressed for so long, it has taken longer for the insidious effects on men to become apparent.
It is upsetting to see in the many incredible men in our communities, a sense of shame in their being a man. A deep confusion as to how they are ‘meant’ to be and act if they are to be ‘decent’.
Education and conversation is needed, as both sexes have been programmed to find a lot of sexist and misogynistic behaviour normal.
We all need to work together to bring the world back into balance, where men and women are equal- in ALL ways equal and valued. That is something that benefits women AND men.
Wiki definition:
Patriarchy is a social system in which: males hold primary power; males predominate in roles of political leadership, moral authority, social privilege and control of property; and, in the domain of the family, fathers or father-figures hold authority over women and children.
**When I am talking about the societal construct we have, I am referring to the system that, in my eyes, sprung from the patriarchal system but now also leaves out lots of other segments of society- in fact, it leaves out most of society.
The patriarchal system was originally set up to disempower women and create a power structure where men ruled everything. Now it is a structure that only works for the tiny percentage of elites that have the majority of the world’s wealth, who are mainly white, mainly male and mainly straight.
“Only 1% of the nation’s Fortune 500 CEOs are black. Only 4% are women. And not a single one is openly gay.”
**perfect body
Just a few words on this- as I could write a frackin’ dissertation!
YOUR BODY IS PERFECT. NATURE KNOWS WHAT SHE IS DOING. YOU ARE IN THE PERFECT VEHICLE FOR YOUR JOURNEY HERE. YOU ARE NOT YOUR BODY, YOU ARE SO MUCH MORE THAN THAT.
If your body is out of balance through self-abuse, by all means action changes to bring it back into balance. Do it from a place of love and compassion and your incredible body will respond and do all you ask of it.
Balance does NOT mean a weight standard set by someone else. Balance does NOT mean being at a fitness level set by someone else. Balance does NOT mean having curves if you are naturally thin and does NOT mean being really thin if you are naturally curvy. Balance means BALANCE in YOUR body depending on YOUR physical makeup and how YOU feel.
Your body is yours. YOU are the ONLY one able to say whether your body is in balance or not. If you need to up your movement, up your movement. Likewise, if you are punishing your body with hours of exercise to attain an unrealistic shape and size for your physical makeup, allow your body to rest and recover and be its true self.
Whatever your size, and your idea of the ideal, I urge you to truly listen to YOUR body and ask what it needs. Find YOUR balance and don’t let anyone outside of you tell you what that is. Ignore the judgments of others- there is so much fat-shaming AND thin-shaming, it’s disgusting.
There is an industry making billions off these cycles of abuse- our culture encourages this self-hatred and judgment. When you look under it all, the drive to look like photo-shopped images does not even come from your mind, it’s all outside judgment and pressure. And to top it all off, even the people in the magazines don’t look like the people in the magazines!
Enough with the madness!
I have met a LOT of people of all different shapes and sizes, who have very different ideas about proper diet, health and exercise, yet I have met very few people totally accepting and loving towards their bodies. The ones who are, are all different shapes and sizes too. I don’t know about you, but I know I would rather be content in who I am, using valuable time and energy on activities and people I love, than chasing after an ideal somebody else says I should have.
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Clip from the amazing film, The Matrix is taken from 1TheRevolutionIsNow’s Youtube channel
Forbes article referenced above is by Dorie Clarke www.dorieclark.com
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