I love you. I’m sorry. Please forgive me. Thank you.

In keeping with the theme of Forgiveness and Compassion here this month, I have to ask for forgiveness for not posting last Thursday!

I was recording my vocals for the album myself and Ian (Eomac) are making together, so had to practice what I preach by showing myself compassion and acknowledging I only had enough energy for recording the eighteen songs that week! Apologies for skipping it.

I have combined the two topics I had planned for last week’s and this week’s post into this one, hope it resonates!

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In the first May post, I discussed why I think Forgiveness and Compassion are so vital to our growth to becoming more conscious humans. I said in that post:

We need to forgive ourselves for our past actions and non-actions. We need to forgive our past behaviours and patterns that have led to negative situations and relationships. We need to let go of anything toxic we are holding to.

I truly believe the key to living a life of contentment is letting go of all emotion and attachments, whether they are perceived negative or not. Although I have never met an enlightened human being, it resonates that this is the path to enlightenment.

I know a lot of people who are living a ‘spiritual’/ ‘conscious’/ ‘whatever label you choose to use’ life, that speak of this letting go and detaching but are doing so without first acknowledging the emotion/situation/predicament/pattern within themselves. Without first taking responsibility for their thoughts and actions. Without allowing themselves to feel the pain/hurt/anger/guilt/shame/myriad of emotions we tend to store.

I see a lot of denial rather than letting go.

The ego can be a tricky thing! I know I look back from a new perspective and see times when my ego has tricked me into believing my actions were ‘high-minded’ when they were actually denial or avoidance, and I am sure as I hopefully continue to grow, I will continually gain a better perspective and better clarity over my tricksy ego!

Being truthful with ourselves is hard. Getting to the point of sincerely letting go of emotions and patterns is hard. We HAVE to go into these emotions, completely feel them- and allow all that comes with truly feeling them- in order to forgive and then really let them go.

To do this requires courage and compassion.

“Compassion is not a relationship between the healer and the wounded. It’s a relationship between equals. Only when we know our own darkness well can we be present with the darkness of others. Compassion becomes real when we recognize our shared humanity.”

Pema Chödrön

The Places That Scare You: A Guide to Fearlessness in Difficult Times

The tendency with a lot of self-development practices is to concentrate on the light and assuming the dark is bad or wrong.

The truth is there is no right or wrong- these are concepts, dualities, we humans have invented. We are all light-filled beings. We all have a shadow side- why would that be any less worthy than the light?  ‘The bigger the light, the bigger the shadow cast.’ All religions, philosophies and self-development literature speaks on this but it is a lesson often ignored.

I believe we need to get to a point of accepting all parts of ourselves. Of accepting we are human.

We have emotions. We can be petty. We can be manipulative. We can be mean. We can lash out. We can act in ways that make us feel ashamed. We can behave, think and act in a myriad of truly abhorrent ways. That’s what human life is right now. Acceptance of this does NOT make negative behaviour ‘right’ or ‘ok’ but I don’t think it needs to mean it is ‘wrong’ either. It just means we are human.

We need to realise that we are going to mess up and feel ‘dark’ and down etc. and that’s ok!

Any argument, hardship or negative experience as you perceive it, has you and another involved. Every interaction you have, you are responsible for half of it whether you are conscious of this or not. We each need to take responsibility in every interaction we have.

This does not mean accept negative behaviour towards yourself. On the contrary, it means accepting nothing you are not comfortable with. Always coming from that space of compassion for yourself and others. This is a challenge!!

“In the ordinary, unaspiring life, compassion is a very tricky word. We say ‘compassion’ when we mean to say ‘attachment’. In the human world there is no compassion; it is all unconscious attachment. When people who live in the physical world say that they are showing compassion to someone because he is weak and he needs guidance, this is not true. It is only attachment, and from this attachment they expect an aggrandisement of their own ego. Consciously and deliberately, or sometimes unconsciously, they are trying to feed their ego.”

Sri Chinmoy, Life-tree-leaves

We are going to have emotions and attachments. We may develop and get better at dealing with them- but that’s the key, they need to be DEALT with. They have to be felt in order to let them go.

We can choose how we respond to our less light-filled behaviour. We can take responsibility. We can let ourselves see and feel our actions and their consequences. We can ask for forgiveness- something that is not necessarily needed from another human but perhaps from within/Spirit/God/whatever word resonates for you. As I said before:

We need to allow ourselves to forgive what we see as the worst of ourselves, realising that we are all human and we are all deserving of forgiveness, love and kindness.

For this month’s meditation, I would like to share the ancient Hawaiian practice for Forgiveness and Reconcilliation called Ho’oponopono. It was first brought to my awareness when I was on a spiritual retreat in Egypt in 2012 and I think it is a beautiful way to come to peace with your actions and reactions.

I would suggest that you perform this meditation and gain your own understanding of the mantra. Use it as you see fit. I have included a practice below but it is just a suggestion. As with all ancient practices being used outside of the original culture, there are many people giving opinions and new interpretations. I believe that we all have this ancient knowledge within, we just have to be open to remembering it. I feel that if we treat these ancient practices with respect and reverence, we each will gain the insight and meaning perfect us.

Perhaps try practicing this meditation throughout the rest of May. I truly believe it can bring insight and peace.

• Remember to make sure you find a quiet spot to sit
• Make sure you will be warm throughout your practice- a blanket is always a good idea

I have recorded some tuning forks that perhaps you might like to use as a means to aid you in calming your mind and allowing yourself to drop into the meditative state before your Ho’oponopono practice

• Take three deep cleansing breaths, allowing your body to relax and mind to calm
• Find your own breathing rhythm, allowing it to be natural
• Picture the person or situation you feel needs atonement
• Hold that picture in your mind for a few minutes, allowing whatever thoughts or emotions to surface
• Speaking aloud and from within your heart, state the words clearly and sincerely:

I LOVE YOU. I’M SORRY. PLEASE FORGIVE ME. THANK YOU.

• Repeat this for as long as you feel you need to- you know how long you need to spend, trust your inner knowledge!
• Allow yourself some time when you have let go of the words to come back to your breath
• I always sing three OMs at the end of my meditation practices- choose something that resonates with you as a way to close out yours

I believe this mantra can help us in taking responsibility for our own thoughts and actions, and aid in forgiving and letting go of the past.

I hope your May is going beautifully and you are finding ways to be forgiving and compassionate towards yourself and others.

With love and light,

Laura.x

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I highly recommend reading the rest of the above quote from Sri Chinmoy at http://www.srichinmoylibrary.com/ltl-4 Powerful stuff!