“The stupid neither forgive nor forget; the naive forgive and forget; the wise forgive but do not forget.” Thomas Stephen Szasz
Forgiveness of the past is vital to living contentedly in the present and to moving brightly into the future with clarity.
I see time and again people want to blame others in a situation. They don’t use empathy and step into the other person’s shoes to see the other side of the story. Or they try see the other side but can’t understand the other person’s actions and so get frustrated and angry and go into blame.
This frustration and anger will only bring more frustration and anger. Hurt breeds hurt. If you want to move forward, you have to let it go. The only way of doing this is taking responsibility for your part in the situation and showing compassion towards yourself and the ‘other’.
“If you want others to be happy, practice compassion. If you want to be happy, practice compassion.”
Dalai Lama XIV
Again, this does not mean allowing someone to mistreat you. It does not mean telling someone their behaviour is ok when it is not. What it means is forgiving the action and then speaking calmly about the situation. It means understanding that there are times where we will not be able to see each other’s point of view, accepting that and still letting the idea of blame go.
“We habitually erect a barrier called blame that keeps us from communicating genuinely with others, and we fortify it with our concepts of who’s right and who’s wrong. We do that with the people who are closest to us and we do it with political systems, with all kinds of things that we don’t like about our associates or our society.
It is a very common, ancient, well-perfected device for trying to feel better. Blame others….Blaming is a way to protect your heart, trying to protect what is soft and open and tender in yourself. Rather than own that pain, we scramble to find some comfortable ground.”
Pema Chödrön
I was proud and overjoyed to be a voice among the Yes Votes in Ireland this weekend that made marriage a right for all its citizens. It was such a joyful, touching and wonderful experience over the weekend, where we were all celebrating and coming together in love. The people of Ireland followed their hearts and Truth, and voted with compassion.
With all the love and compassion shown on the weekend, it is disheartening to now see a lot of social media posts condemning Catholics and being bigoted and angry towards them.
Think before you judge and speak.
As those who read my blog regularly know, I am not Catholic- or Christian or any religion- but I am friends with people belonging to a myriad of faiths, all of whom I respect and love. I personally know a lot of Catholics who also voted yes. The church is not the same as the people. The cultural attachment to the title of a religion is different to faith and beliefs.
Those being derisive and hateful towards Catholics are doing the very thing you are preaching out against. Systems change because the people within them lobby for change. If people want to be part of the Catholic Church and they get solace and comfort from that, who are you to condemn them for it? Who are any of us to condemn others for anything?
Stop judging people based on your assumptions. Just because you can’t understand something or don’t see truth in it for yourself, does not mean that others don’t. Your way is NOT the best way- it may be the best way for you, but that does not mean it is the best way for everyone. The assumption that it is, is only ego and arrogance.
“We can never judge the lives of others, because each person knows only their own pain and renunciation. It’s one thing to feel that you are on the right path, but it’s another to think that yours is the only path.”
Paulo Coelho
We are all trying our best to survive in a world that is filled with injustice and judgment. We are all trying to find the love. We are all TRYING. No one has the answers to life’s purpose for anyone but themselves. No one!
“It is surely better to pardon too much, than to condemn too much.”
George Eliot
We all need to engage with the compassionate parts of ourselves much more. We need to forgive others for being different to us, even when we just can’t understand their position. We need to forgive ourselves for our past. We need to be kind and come from love. We need to see that we are all here struggling and trying and in need of forgiveness and compassion from within and without. We need to let go of judgment, resentment and condemnation, while standing up for the rights of all humans to live their lives fully and in peace.
“Resentment is like drinking poison and then hoping it will kill your enemies.”
Nelson Mandela
It seems fitting after the momentous vote at home, and the last Thursday post about Forgiveness and Compassion, to close this post with the following quote from the wonderful Oscar Wilde. He gives us another reason to show forgiveness which can certainly be a good enough reason on some days!! 🙂
“Always forgive your enemies; nothing annoys them so much.”
Oscar Wilde
With love and light,
Laura.x
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Resounding Power 
Hi Laura, What a nice and positive message to begin my day. It’s something that needs constant reminding, I think. Thank you! Brian Date: Thu, 28 May 2015 14:32:20 +0000 To: bkluepfel@hotmail.com
Thanks for the kind words Brian. I hope all is going great with you. I meant to say, I really loved your Melvin Mora post last month- what a cute family pic!! Enjoying learning more about the glorious game through your blog!
Thank you Laura x Your posts are bringing greater understanding and peace to my heart x
You are so welcome lovely Nadege! So good to hear from you. Hope all is wonderful in your world. Sending you love and light.x